WINE SELECTIONS FROM THE WIZZNUTZZ CELLAR
"The wife of Detroit Pistons forward Darvin Ham was arrested early Friday on a domestic assault charge, authorities said. Oakland County sheriff's deputies were called to the couple's Rochester Hills home about 3 a.m. ET, Sgt. John Jacobson said.
According to a sheriff's report cited by The Daily Oakland Press of Pontiac, Deneitra Ham allegedly struck her husband on the head with a wine bottle during a domestic dispute. Ham was bleeding when deputies arrived but refused medical treatment, the report said."
After our intern Darvin Ham got grog-whacked we had a long think about alcohol.
We normally recommend drinking wine in empty Pepsi cans the way Jesus enojyed it after a long day of carpentry and miracles! Or, like our intern and post-game call-in girl Dana, you can pour wine into Capri Sun bladders, which can be like a pouch of courage in a Leesburg motel room.
But as a symbolic act of support, the Wizznutzz took all of our wine and buried it in a shallow grave in the childrens sandbox across from our office.
But There were a few very special botles that we kept because they are rare and important to us personally.
Here is a list of those special wines in the Wizznutzz cellar:
Red Style Wine Product
We already introduced you to this agressive blend.
Awarded 95 points by Wine Combat Magazine! !
This is a dry, 100% Kosher white wine. It displays a lean, angular structure.
The grapes lack maturity however, and this wine is a developmental project.
Best drunk on Tuesdays!
Imported from Israel.
Leavenworth Pruno Reserva
This is what wine tasters refer to as a "big wine"
The King Brut has notes of cured meat and buttocks.
The unique fermentation proccess involves last-growth oranges
and ammonia which imbues the wine with a solitary, desperate character.
Astringent and heavily fortified, this appelation makes a fine correctional wine!
Chateau LaSooz has marketed this brand aggressively, and with good reason.
This is a confident, almost masculine white with hints of green apple and pear
and an exciting mouth feel.
Look for the distinctive label, which features the smiling head of Susan O'Malley
and the big red words: "DRINK ME!"
This wine is a favorite of gulpers.
Rasheed Roscoe Wallace
This mellow red is prized for its musty flavor.
It displays an herbaceuous personality, with hints of Indiana hay.
Early vinatages may cause baldness.
Terrapin Bay Wines
Steven Blake Rusty Bay
"Gout de Terroir"
The Still 96 is what we refer to as your "basic jug wine".
A great wine for sitting around and avoiding!
It is a pallid wine, with colors of light straw.
The heavily inbred varietal results in a sweaty wine, with pungent character,
and disagreeable notes of raccoon urine and buckshot.
Exhibits substantial bottle stink.
"Gout de Terroir" translates to "Taste of the Ecosystem"
Many do not want to put this wine in their mouths when faced with the odor.
But be brave, what lies beyond can be glorious.!
Illegal in California.
Terrapin Bay Wines
PG County Semillion
Under the direction of obsessive winemaker Juan Dixon,
Mont Jaggers is the little winery that could.
This Semillion has a young but meticulous composition.
With a 94% alocohol content this wine is enjoyed for its antiseptic qualities
and displays an underestimated grease-cutting formula.
Le Homme Enfant
Saviour Ranch Noveau
The breathtaking Saviour is made from first growth pinot grapes,
which are very sensitive to environmental factors and difficult to ripen
and accordingly produce a wine that is fragile and easiliy humiliated.
This bottling exhibits a firm, pliant acidity
offset somewhat by its uneven, unpredictable finish.
Hints of ebony and black cherry.
Displays long, occasionally akimbo, legs but very small hands.
Screw top. An excellent salad wine.
Shake before serving.
Kneehigh Premier Roquefort Sangria
The gold standard in cheese wines, the Premier Roquefort boasts a buttery texture.
Available in 2%